And you say my name...

So today I decided to deactivate my facebook account. Don't ask me why, its something that I felt I had to do for the time being. I need to feel like my life doesn't revolve around it. I guess I'm trying to make up for the times I've signed off only to find myself logged back on two secs later. Things like that can kill brain cells. Forgive my fragmented thoughts.

And so it hit me while talking to my neighbor a couple of days ago. The Naija community in NY is too small for my liking. Which is why i don't make it a habit of attending naija parties. The way I see it you're partying with the same people over and over again<< where's the fun in that? So I'll probably wait for time to pass before i finally make my debut at one of the parties ( the little form fitting dresses in my closet are begging for a night out in town). Another unfrotunate aspect of it is that , in NY, if you know one Nigerian you know them all. So lets say you know Kunle, whose cousin is Ola..turns out Ola was the dude your cousin dated a while back, but now he's dating chioma who happens to be one of your close friends from way back when. Now you like Kunle's friend Emeka, but Chioma doesn't trust him cuz they used to chill and he's not bf material<< Things like this i don't like. I think thats one of the reasons why I've never really bothered dating a naija guy. If there is no cheating involved, you better believe you're messing with someone's ex, and there's bound to be drama. So as of right now...I'm trying to keep a low profile ( right bebe? LMAO). Don't get me wrong I love naija guys. I love everything about them, from their swagg to their sense of humor, but getting involved with one in NYC is like a warrant for trouble.

Dear Nobody: excerpt from "the little voice in my head"

You amuse me plain and simple. You are my current source of entertainment, only you dont know this yet. Should I feel guilty? By all means yes. Do I feel guilty? By all means no. My guess is that you under estimated me. By doing so I can only conclude that you've bitten off more than you can chew. I guess it's because we laugh and joke together that you felt you could cross the line. You see it's this mind game I often play with everyone I meet. I feign complete naivety, because I know someone will eventually believe me to be so. I allow you to get comfortable. As you drop hints, I pick up on them. Overtime you become an open book...unknowingly...by this time I have no choice but to read. Some call it a defense mechanism, I call it being aware of one's surroundings.
So please don't get mad. I merely played my part, and you set things in motion for me. How does it feel being on the other side looking in? By crossing that line, you've isolated the people that were in your corner, the people that were willing to protect you. Does it irk you, knowing that this situation was orchestrated around lies? Dear nobody...I wont tell if you wont tell. I can fix this. All you have to do is swallow your pride and ask.