Nostalgia

So everyone in blogsville already knows i'm the worst blogger out there. here i am returning 2 months later to post a blog. I couldn't sleep, hence the reason why I'm up at 12 in the morning blogging as if to say it's going out of style.

You know what I miss? Life in the 90's, way before the internet, media, or technology over took my life. I loved everything about that time period. I actually saw my friends, when we made promises we stuck to them, people were still candid, and honesty was rewarded. Now in 09' anything goes. the word friendship has taken on a slightly new meaning. Honesty is now a figment of the imagination. People no longer say what they mean. Imagine we've now replaced warm bodies, with Facebook profiles, and comments as normal conversations. Almost everyone says what they think you'd like to hear. No one speaks from the heart anymore. Its all a game of who can say what and gain what? Even AIM has replaced group meetings. Hiding behind LOLs in order not to offend someone. Here you talk with a faceless individual whose words hold no merit. It's almost like a charade that we have to keep up. you feel compelled to do as others are doing, but it never feels right.

is it too much to ask for that I be able to communicate through touch, rather than a Wi-fi connection? may i get a warm hug rather than a meaning less 'poke' over facebook? How about an email that is at least up to a paragraph telling me how your day really was, and how you actually feel? Whatever happened to sending letters anymore? so that i know that you actually put heart and time into writing, and sending it.

I don't know, maybe I'm just rambling, but I'm pretty sure someone out there feels the same even if it is remotely.

family issues

though I don't mind, I've realized that having a cousin who's older (by a year) than you have a baby out of wedlock, has its Extreme downsides.

Finding out that the kid from Chi*town (the one you like) is in your extended family ( though not by blood: which you found out yesterday (YES!!!) also has its bit of downside. I mean He feels like family, but then your thought are kinda umm well..you get the idea.

Hearing that your aunt (the one who supposedly did you mother dirty when she had a stroke) has cancer, is not thrilling. You def. wouldn't wish that on your worst enemy.

Having your mother tell you to hurry up and finish school because the best time to have children is in your 20s ( scary much??)

Making your own money for the first time in your life, and feeling the pain of having to spend it, or not knowing what to spend it on ( even though you used to be a shop-a-holic)

having your grandma come from Nigeria and having you gain weight from all her cooking ( you went from a size 7 to a size 9) and she claims it wasn't her food, that your hips are simply making room for the multiple kids you'll have when you get older ( this coming from a woman who had her frist child @ 19)

having your 3 years old brother warning you not to eat anything with peanut butter, cuz he doesn't understand that just because he's allergic to the stuff, doesn't mean its off limits to everyone else.

Good to be back

I've definitely been on a long Hiatus. So much has happen, that trying to write about it all would just take me forever. I think that last time I made a post was in Late April. So just to catch the world up on what happened. 1) My birthday money was stolen from me. Unfortunately its one of those cases where I new the person, but was so saddened by their criminality to say anything. So I left it alone. I can only wonder what kind of desperation would make someone teal from another person. 2)My traitorous Aunt has cancer. The woman who tried in her own way to harm my mother. Instead of feeling gleeful, I'm actually saddened by this. Life has a funny way of affecting us all. One day you're the criminal, next day you're the victim. I wish her the best, and hopes she makes it. She's currently doing chemotherapy. 3) Umm I realized that I can wait for romance. Alot of people would think I'm waiting for perfection. I say NO " I'm waiting for something close to it, but never perfection". The way I see things. Education and family are my 2 top priorities Right now. To even get into a relationship wouldn't be fair to the guy or myself. How can make demands on another person to make me their #1 when they haven't gotten their situations in order? Statistics have shown that men are ready to settle down after education, and the scecurement of a job. so yea I can def. wait. 4) I got my first Job EVER! Currently working at a daycare/foster home. Its not so bad. being that it's ran by Nigerians, I pretty much get to do things my way! It's a very eye opening experience, because I've always wanted to work, and often envied people my age with jobs. But now looking back, i understand why my parents didn't want me working.

Anyways that's it for now...and btw I can be found on FB

You missed out. It came and Went.

Birthdays have a very funny ways of letting you know who cares, who doesn't, or who just plainly forgot. I personally see birthdays as peace treaties. It's probably the only time where you can hit up a person with whom you've had a falling out, or a way for an old lover to tell you that they're still interested, or for a way to get back in touch with people you haven't spoken with in a long whlie. basically Birthdays are a time of forgiveness, of moving on, and knowing who really matters and who does not.

Perhaps I read the signs all wrong and you really weren't interested. So you call me on the 22nd. I called you back because I was unavailable at the moment, yet you didn't return my calls. How interesting. Here I was hoping that it was just a fluke, or somehow someway, our networks just didn't want us to connect. So i left it alone, thinking " well tomorrow is my birthday surely he'll call then." But you never did. I couldn't really get mad ( I' don't do anger). what annoyed me the most was that you were supposed to be interested yet all I got on facebook was a measly "happy b-day". SERIOUSLY, like are you kidding me? two can play that game I thought when I saw it, so I replied...'thanx'. Cuz your pathetic happy birthday didn't even deserve my precious thanx. Yes its the thought that counted, but if you couldn't "think" enough to call me, then I wasn't going to bother. Even after my birthday you didn't call. But you called Tonight. Why oh why? ( perhaps now is the time to confess that I lied tonite) It was a necessary white lie. Ok maybe not so white. but it was still necessary. I hate that feeling that comes, especially when someone could've done more, or something of that sort (I do have selfish tendencies but so what!). I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that out of sight is out of mind. if you're trying to win me over then shouldn't you have put in more effort? perhaps back in my younger years I would've sat by and still accepted your call whole heartedly regardless of how many days, weeks months or years you didn't call ( a bit of exaggeration). But I'm no longer a child, and its even harder to pretend like everything is kosher, especially when its not. So don't act all hurt, like you care, because i know deep down where it counts you really don't.

Today I'm reborn: birthday special

AAah finally, what I've been waiting for...Today is my birthday!! I'd like to thank my mom, da, sisters, and brother, besies, and close friends. So far the day has been memorable...but the fun isn't here yet...Its only 9:08 for crying out loud!!!..pix very soon!! and I'll update this blog lata...

In April I'm reborn

Hey fellow bloggers!!! I hope Easter found everyone in good spirits. Just finished my last day of spring break yesterday. I have class this morning. Ahhhhh...I wish i could get more sleep. My warm bed is practically shouting my name. How I'd love to succumb.

So spring break was quite fun. I loved every minute of it. I remember 2 people asking me what type of dance I do. I did modern dance before, and now I'm into Afro Caribbean dance. Afro-cari dance is INTENSE. After one workout, you'll feel muscles that you never knew you had in your body. On Thursday I actually went to the Alvin Ailey dance center and took one of their classes. It was a west African dance class, 90% of the attendees were white women, who work for corporate America. You should've seen them all as they walked in with wrappas tied around their waist...Even better was when they danced. This one white woman went into a frenzy. CHEI!!! arms everywhere, hair flying, Feet jumping, Back bending, and face fierce as hell. Then there was a dance battle with this one small Chinese lady and another white woman. In fact ehhh, they put me to shame. Imagine women who looked over the age of 35 could do all of this...

So my birthday is in 5 days. Yaaaay. I'm really taking my time and reflecting on my past years. Trying to figure out how I can better myself, and whether or not somethings are worth repeating.

Remember my friend U and her BF? well they never quite worked things out. They ended up breaking up the same day i was writing the blog about them. So a part of me is dissapointed to learn that love doesn't always conquer all. I mean nothing gold can ever truly last. Thats just a part of life we all have to learn to deal and cope with.

Dance Practice

So yesterday I had dance practice in brooklyn. I thought it just be a "hop on the train" kinda thing and we're there, but Nooooo. Aftr taking a bus, then the train I had to meet one of my dance partners. We took 2 trains ( one had to go into manhattan b4 brooklyn) then when we finally got out we had to take another toitslast stop...and then we gt piked up. I was pretty tire by the time we reached brooklyn. ( advice to readers: its take approx 2 hr to get to brooklyn from Queens, but by car its 20-30 mins ) I was sooo VEXED and hungry by the time we finally emerged from underground, that My friend and I ran into Subways to grab a sandwich. We finally get in only for a homeless man, to come in and start dancing in front of our table. So i decided to encourage him by singing along " blame it on the a a a a a alcohol..." ( that man had moves!!! had I not been so hungry the good samaritan in me would've offered him some of my sandwich, but no one comes between me and my food during a time of hunger: I simply won't allow it)