Birthdays have a very funny ways of letting you know who cares, who doesn't, or who just plainly forgot. I personally see birthdays as peace treaties. It's probably the only time where you can hit up a person with whom you've had a falling out, or a way for an old lover to tell you that they're still interested, or for a way to get back in touch with people you haven't spoken with in a long whlie. basically Birthdays are a time of forgiveness, of moving on, and knowing who really matters and who does not.
Perhaps I read the signs all wrong and you really weren't interested. So you call me on the 22nd. I called you back because I was unavailable at the moment, yet you didn't return my calls. How interesting. Here I was hoping that it was just a fluke, or somehow someway, our networks just didn't want us to connect. So i left it alone, thinking " well tomorrow is my birthday surely he'll call then." But you never did. I couldn't really get mad ( I' don't do anger). what annoyed me the most was that you were supposed to be interested yet all I got on facebook was a measly "happy b-day". SERIOUSLY, like are you kidding me? two can play that game I thought when I saw it, so I replied...'thanx'. Cuz your pathetic happy birthday didn't even deserve my precious thanx. Yes its the thought that counted, but if you couldn't "think" enough to call me, then I wasn't going to bother. Even after my birthday you didn't call. But you called Tonight. Why oh why? ( perhaps now is the time to confess that I lied tonite) It was a necessary white lie. Ok maybe not so white. but it was still necessary. I hate that feeling that comes, especially when someone could've done more, or something of that sort (I do have selfish tendencies but so what!). I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that out of sight is out of mind. if you're trying to win me over then shouldn't you have put in more effort? perhaps back in my younger years I would've sat by and still accepted your call whole heartedly regardless of how many days, weeks months or years you didn't call ( a bit of exaggeration). But I'm no longer a child, and its even harder to pretend like everything is kosher, especially when its not. So don't act all hurt, like you care, because i know deep down where it counts you really don't.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Today I'm reborn: birthday special
AAah finally, what I've been waiting for...Today is my birthday!! I'd like to thank my mom, da, sisters, and brother, besies, and close friends. So far the day has been memorable...but the fun isn't here yet...Its only 9:08 for crying out loud!!!..pix very soon!! and I'll update this blog lata...
Saturday, April 18, 2009
In April I'm reborn
Hey fellow bloggers!!! I hope Easter found everyone in good spirits. Just finished my last day of spring break yesterday. I have class this morning. Ahhhhh...I wish i could get more sleep. My warm bed is practically shouting my name. How I'd love to succumb.
So spring break was quite fun. I loved every minute of it. I remember 2 people asking me what type of dance I do. I did modern dance before, and now I'm into Afro Caribbean dance. Afro-cari dance is INTENSE. After one workout, you'll feel muscles that you never knew you had in your body. On Thursday I actually went to the Alvin Ailey dance center and took one of their classes. It was a west African dance class, 90% of the attendees were white women, who work for corporate America. You should've seen them all as they walked in with wrappas tied around their waist...Even better was when they danced. This one white woman went into a frenzy. CHEI!!! arms everywhere, hair flying, Feet jumping, Back bending, and face fierce as hell. Then there was a dance battle with this one small Chinese lady and another white woman. In fact ehhh, they put me to shame. Imagine women who looked over the age of 35 could do all of this...
So my birthday is in 5 days. Yaaaay. I'm really taking my time and reflecting on my past years. Trying to figure out how I can better myself, and whether or not somethings are worth repeating.
Remember my friend U and her BF? well they never quite worked things out. They ended up breaking up the same day i was writing the blog about them. So a part of me is dissapointed to learn that love doesn't always conquer all. I mean nothing gold can ever truly last. Thats just a part of life we all have to learn to deal and cope with.
So spring break was quite fun. I loved every minute of it. I remember 2 people asking me what type of dance I do. I did modern dance before, and now I'm into Afro Caribbean dance. Afro-cari dance is INTENSE. After one workout, you'll feel muscles that you never knew you had in your body. On Thursday I actually went to the Alvin Ailey dance center and took one of their classes. It was a west African dance class, 90% of the attendees were white women, who work for corporate America. You should've seen them all as they walked in with wrappas tied around their waist...Even better was when they danced. This one white woman went into a frenzy. CHEI!!! arms everywhere, hair flying, Feet jumping, Back bending, and face fierce as hell. Then there was a dance battle with this one small Chinese lady and another white woman. In fact ehhh, they put me to shame. Imagine women who looked over the age of 35 could do all of this...
So my birthday is in 5 days. Yaaaay. I'm really taking my time and reflecting on my past years. Trying to figure out how I can better myself, and whether or not somethings are worth repeating.
Remember my friend U and her BF? well they never quite worked things out. They ended up breaking up the same day i was writing the blog about them. So a part of me is dissapointed to learn that love doesn't always conquer all. I mean nothing gold can ever truly last. Thats just a part of life we all have to learn to deal and cope with.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Dance Practice
So yesterday I had dance practice in brooklyn. I thought it just be a "hop on the train" kinda thing and we're there, but Nooooo. Aftr taking a bus, then the train I had to meet one of my dance partners. We took 2 trains ( one had to go into manhattan b4 brooklyn) then when we finally got out we had to take another toitslast stop...and then we gt piked up. I was pretty tire by the time we reached brooklyn. ( advice to readers: its take approx 2 hr to get to brooklyn from Queens, but by car its 20-30 mins ) I was sooo VEXED and hungry by the time we finally emerged from underground, that My friend and I ran into Subways to grab a sandwich. We finally get in only for a homeless man, to come in and start dancing in front of our table. So i decided to encourage him by singing along " blame it on the a a a a a alcohol..." ( that man had moves!!! had I not been so hungry the good samaritan in me would've offered him some of my sandwich, but no one comes between me and my food during a time of hunger: I simply won't allow it)
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
When Love isn't Enough: part 1
Yesterday was one of those days, where I found myself spending a few mins. with some friends on the last day of school. We were all sitting and talking about our plans for Spring break. The Idea was just not to be at home. So I asked one of my coolest friends (lets call her U.) what she had planned and she was like “O I don’t even know anymore”. Weird coming from her, this was the girl who was SUPER Juiced cuz her BF was coming home from school for the break. So being the nosy person I was I pushed and pushed until she finally told us.
Turns out that her BF is sick ( so I’m thinking: and?? Just take the boy some pepe soup and make some “face time”) But as she went on to explain what type of sickness he had, I just felt sad.
When U first started dating her boo, her cousin was like “you know he has sickle cell right?” But U didn’t think much of it, and she was like “soooo….what does that have to do with anything?” Though I don’t know the timeline of when things were said I have to go on an educated guess starting from now. So U’s BF finally told her that he has sickle cell disease. ( I already knew that people who have sickle cell tend to be in a lot of pain: one of my friends father had it…he was sick like almost every month). U also learned that her boyfriend wanted to have kids. It was and still is very much at the top of his list. Because he has the actual disease, the chances of him having a healthy child is almost slim. That’s where the woman plays a critical role. The chances of him having a healthy child with a woman who doesn’t have the disease is 3 out of 4. (Pretty darned good chance if you ask me). According to him: he can’t marry a woman who either has the disease or has the trait if he want kids.
U went on to tell us that she recently went to the doctor for a check up and some blood work ( This is the part where I got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach). Turns out she has the trait. ( why oh why??????)
She called up her BF. ( they always take a day out to just talk about any and everything). So she asks him to tell her more about his disease…and he does. He doesn’t want any of the kids he’ll have in the future to have to go through the pain that he goes through. ( This is the part where I urge you all to run to the search engines and type in sickle cell disease/anemia).
Now at this point some readers may be like well….what’s the problem. U is a carrier of the gene, and her BF has the disease. Their chances of having any HEALTHY kids together is very slim. Here you have two people who are very much in love. Both are from the same ethnic group in Naija, so you’d think there are no problems…right?? Wrong. I told U that she can always do more research on the disease to find out more, and see if anything can be done..after all they’re still young. Then I said well to be honest, If you love him very much, and run out of options…there’s always adoption. Then she gave me that look. ( I can’t blame her) ( most naijas/africans in general don’t do adoption unless they are barren and this is not a case of infertility) she went on to say well even if I do adopt, what will my family think and that she is right. She also stressed that she wants to know “ what he and I will look like together” ( after that statement my heart broke even more)Most families don’t take too kindly to bringing an outsider into the family, especially a child who is not of blood relation to come and bear the family name.
So when I think about this whole thing, it just makes me sad all over again. Here I thought love was supposed to conquer all. I mean who doesn’t want off springs? Most of us do, but at what price? Are we willing to give up perhaps the only person who will ever love us whole heartedly for something else of equal importance? So my heart goes out to U and her BF. I hope you both find a way to stay together…even though one person may not get what they want. I’m praying for you guys, and I urge you to have faith, because as Ayo said yesterday “ there is nothing prayer can’t do”.
There is nothing else i can do but to dedicate this song, to a very sweet and caring girl. One who i know will love a person with all her heart and leave out nothing. One that I'm afraid will evetually end up sacrifising her own happiness for that of another person. So here is "Feel My Love" by Adele.
Turns out that her BF is sick ( so I’m thinking: and?? Just take the boy some pepe soup and make some “face time”) But as she went on to explain what type of sickness he had, I just felt sad.
When U first started dating her boo, her cousin was like “you know he has sickle cell right?” But U didn’t think much of it, and she was like “soooo….what does that have to do with anything?” Though I don’t know the timeline of when things were said I have to go on an educated guess starting from now. So U’s BF finally told her that he has sickle cell disease. ( I already knew that people who have sickle cell tend to be in a lot of pain: one of my friends father had it…he was sick like almost every month). U also learned that her boyfriend wanted to have kids. It was and still is very much at the top of his list. Because he has the actual disease, the chances of him having a healthy child is almost slim. That’s where the woman plays a critical role. The chances of him having a healthy child with a woman who doesn’t have the disease is 3 out of 4. (Pretty darned good chance if you ask me). According to him: he can’t marry a woman who either has the disease or has the trait if he want kids.
U went on to tell us that she recently went to the doctor for a check up and some blood work ( This is the part where I got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach). Turns out she has the trait. ( why oh why??????)
She called up her BF. ( they always take a day out to just talk about any and everything). So she asks him to tell her more about his disease…and he does. He doesn’t want any of the kids he’ll have in the future to have to go through the pain that he goes through. ( This is the part where I urge you all to run to the search engines and type in sickle cell disease/anemia).
Now at this point some readers may be like well….what’s the problem. U is a carrier of the gene, and her BF has the disease. Their chances of having any HEALTHY kids together is very slim. Here you have two people who are very much in love. Both are from the same ethnic group in Naija, so you’d think there are no problems…right?? Wrong. I told U that she can always do more research on the disease to find out more, and see if anything can be done..after all they’re still young. Then I said well to be honest, If you love him very much, and run out of options…there’s always adoption. Then she gave me that look. ( I can’t blame her) ( most naijas/africans in general don’t do adoption unless they are barren and this is not a case of infertility) she went on to say well even if I do adopt, what will my family think and that she is right. She also stressed that she wants to know “ what he and I will look like together” ( after that statement my heart broke even more)Most families don’t take too kindly to bringing an outsider into the family, especially a child who is not of blood relation to come and bear the family name.
So when I think about this whole thing, it just makes me sad all over again. Here I thought love was supposed to conquer all. I mean who doesn’t want off springs? Most of us do, but at what price? Are we willing to give up perhaps the only person who will ever love us whole heartedly for something else of equal importance? So my heart goes out to U and her BF. I hope you both find a way to stay together…even though one person may not get what they want. I’m praying for you guys, and I urge you to have faith, because as Ayo said yesterday “ there is nothing prayer can’t do”.
There is nothing else i can do but to dedicate this song, to a very sweet and caring girl. One who i know will love a person with all her heart and leave out nothing. One that I'm afraid will evetually end up sacrifising her own happiness for that of another person. So here is "Feel My Love" by Adele.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Na juju??
This morning I woke up at my usual time; 5:30 am, to get ready for Saturday class. Come time to leave I couldn't find my metro card. Not just any regular metro card. A transit check; this allows me to ride the bus/train unlimited for a while year. So now i was frustrated and asked my youngest sis if she had seen it. turns out my parents found it on the floor and when i questioned them, they had no idea what they did with it...arrrgh. so my father thought he might've put it in the garbage. yours truly had to don some gloves and sift through garbage looking for it. Couldn't find it there, so instead i took money from my dad for transportation. i went to open the front door to leave, and turns out i was locked inside. Never mind that the door wasn't actually locked. a screw had come undone, and lodged into the bolt hole. trapping me and my family inside. so once again i called daddy to the rescue.... and even he couldn't open it!!...by now it was 8:00 and my class starts at 9. ( its takes me approx 45 mins to get to school...an hour on a bad day...like this) so after hammering, and sliding a knife through the lock part of the door, nothing happened. Then my mother got the brilliant idea of me climbing through the window. i was flabbergasted. but then i ended up doing it. With the help of my father, i climbed on top of our PC to reach the window...nearly ripping my pants in the process. finally got my foot onto the jeep and hopped down. I ran to the bus stop (I never knew i had this much speed in me). by the time i got to the train station to buy a new metro card its was 8:24. The next bus didn't come until 8:40. Imagine the look on peoples faces when i walked into lecture late. me that's always there before the professor and everyone else self....but on the bright side today was the last Saturday class...next week is spring break!!!! but how am i supposed to leave the house without my transit check now????
Friday, April 3, 2009
The girl who broke her mother's comb
Ahhh. Its good to be back. I love the sound of my fingers racing across the keyboard...click click clock clock...lol. So this week was more than productive for me. Slowly approaching spring break, so i cant complain much. Five more days to go, and freedom is mine!!
I have a confession to make. I haven't been totally honest with myself or others. This has been going on since January. This issue has become damaging. I can't hold it in anymore.
I'm in dire need of a PERM!!!.
Who was I fooling thinking I could go natural?? 3 months without that creamy white crack known as relaxer.....the only thing that can manage this my tumble weed I call hair. Last time i got my hair relaxed was Dec 08'. Can you imagine? After that perm, i though well since they say going natural is good, why not give it a try? So me and my mumu self, abandoned my hair for sooo long. Combing it is now difficult. Infact there are some days I don't even put the comb to it. I just take one head scarf and wrap it around. When my Friends ask I tell them I'm fasting!! lol.
But after a while I realized that laziness kept me from getting my hair done. Now everyone is complaining, from my father to my mother, to my friends. as if to say that its a national crisis. I keep telling them I'm a college student abeg! i have no time for such frivolities. It's not like I'm looking for a husband. And if i was, what happened to "take me as I am".
According to my mom, "no man wants a woman who looks like onye ara ( crazy person)"
see insult oooo. She's only on my case because I broke her favorite wide teethed comb. Now she curses my hair every chance she gets. So I've decided to give in and finally get my hair done. No no perm...not right away...I'm thinking kinky twist first. Never had it done before but I've always loved the "natural" look of it....
I have a confession to make. I haven't been totally honest with myself or others. This has been going on since January. This issue has become damaging. I can't hold it in anymore.
I'm in dire need of a PERM!!!.
Who was I fooling thinking I could go natural?? 3 months without that creamy white crack known as relaxer.....the only thing that can manage this my tumble weed I call hair. Last time i got my hair relaxed was Dec 08'. Can you imagine? After that perm, i though well since they say going natural is good, why not give it a try? So me and my mumu self, abandoned my hair for sooo long. Combing it is now difficult. Infact there are some days I don't even put the comb to it. I just take one head scarf and wrap it around. When my Friends ask I tell them I'm fasting!! lol.
But after a while I realized that laziness kept me from getting my hair done. Now everyone is complaining, from my father to my mother, to my friends. as if to say that its a national crisis. I keep telling them I'm a college student abeg! i have no time for such frivolities. It's not like I'm looking for a husband. And if i was, what happened to "take me as I am".
According to my mom, "no man wants a woman who looks like onye ara ( crazy person)"
see insult oooo. She's only on my case because I broke her favorite wide teethed comb. Now she curses my hair every chance she gets. So I've decided to give in and finally get my hair done. No no perm...not right away...I'm thinking kinky twist first. Never had it done before but I've always loved the "natural" look of it....
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