the sweetest thing

so the pianist and i have been talking for a while now...I love the sound of his voice on the phone, especially at night after a long day. He has this way of making me laugh in one moment, and frustrated the next. He knows just what buttons to push to get me to react. I've never really been a phone person, until him...now I'm looking at the bill, we started from 1 hour and moved on to 2 hours maximum. He's the first person i want to speak to at the beginning of each glorious dawn, and the last voice i want to hear when the sun finally sets.
it's an amazing feeling to finally find someone, whose intellect is at the same level of yours..well lets just say he has a year of experience ahead of me. He takes the term communication to a whole new level. I've never had my heart so bared to a person, my feelings so readable. It's safe to say I've met my match....

Mr. Therapy man

I'm interested in the piano man.
He's ever so intruiging.
Long tapered fingers that glide
so so so easily across the keys,
black on white,
melody on top of one another
racing to be the first
and last tune that i hear.
O Pianist. Play me a soft gentle melody...
as my head falls on this cloud of softness.
Lull me to sleep,
as your fingers glide...
gently gently along my skin.
Brown on brown,
playing out the sounds that only nature can emit...
with dips and moans and glides and tones...
Pianist play me one of those forever songs...
that'll last me till the east comes alive and west sleeps once again.

one of those days

Oh glorious saturday, you complete me like the sun completes the morning...the way hands complete a lover...the way music completes my soul.

I love saturdays..early morning cartoons, made even more enjoyable with a plate of cereal by my side. Warm in my jammies, remote in hand as tunes slowly drift from radio. the outside world creaks and moans as the wind brushes past my window. the hushed tone, and wild images from the TV, only induces this warm feeling...urging me to get more sleep, but i feel safe here..so i stay.

today is my neighbor's birthday...big shout out to him on turning 20. Happy birthday kiddo!!
hmmm i see more cookies in the future...lol.

Truce?

so you know how things happen and someone you used to be cool with, just stop talking? Like perhaps they heard the wrong thing and never confronted you about it? I mean don'tget me wrong, I'm all for giving information to someone, but if i feel its gonna jeopardize another thing, I'd rather keep my information to myself....But thats not the point I'm trying to make...lets save that topic for another day. So today I decided to extend an olive branch. I mean one of us has to be the mature one and step up....since it wasn't going to be you, I took it upon myself to do something....But not without the help of a third person. You see the thing is...I'm an awfully blunt person. I ask question straight...I can't for the life of me stall when it comes to words. I 'm not one for pleasantries...I guess that explains why some people think I'm unapproachable. (and I'm still working on my flirting skills) Pretentious people...mainly females are a turnoff for me...you know the ones who have to shower a person with compliments, and cutesy little words... Like seriously get to the DAMN point you DIMWITS! you're wasting time.!!!
But as I've learned today...sometime you have to use those cutesy little words, you have to compliment others, because it is always easier to approach a person with sweetness, rather than harsh and direct words

happy wednesday

So this morning i ventured out of my house in my big brown winter jacket, looking like mother bear. Got as far as the bus stop, and it hit me!! It wasn't windy, the sun was out and i was slightly glistening ( cuz we all know girls dont sweat ;) ). I lugged myself back home and quickly changed jackets.

Soooo as my schedule dictates...I had art and afro caribbean dance today. I realized that my new found friend joseph is gay. I mean he had feminine tendencies, but alot of dudes are that way. AND we were talkin about something and he said "my partner and I...." OMG i totally did a double take...like NO WAY!!! my first official openly gay friend. But he's really cool ( i mean any guy that offers to buy me food is automatically cool with me). J** was here today. wierd cuz he missed art last week. when he walked in I was like "well well well...look who decided to join us". So passing around the attendance sheet I saw that his last name is "husbands" like HUH??? what's the story behind that one?? but then I remembered my own last name and thought " i should be the last person to speak".

Next came dance. the instructor's name is June. She quirky, and sarcastic at the same time. I love sarcastic people. Dont ask me why. they always seem to know more than they let on. So yea, June had us doing 20 mins of exercise. By the time she was done I felt muscles that i didnt even know I had start aching. My head was pounding, and my heart was racing. June said "girl the way you huffing and puffin would put a woman in labor to shame"!! That definately got a laugh from the class.

Grandmother's hands

I want to feel grandmother's hands
yet again, holding me in infancy
Hands that parted and plaited my hair into three
Three reminiscent of "I Love Yous"
That came undone every weekend
only to be done again
Those hands that gave fufu to an unwilling child
while promises of untold strength
entered my mouth.
The hands that were quick to discipline
a child who had picked off the
unriped tomatoes in her garden
Hands that later soothed and cajoled a child's worried soul
I want to feel grandmother's hands
Hands that seemed to clap the loudest in church
this child's first sound of salvation
The Hands of a rainmaker
whose rain poured into the garden of
my heart and filled it with joy
I want to feel the hands that cooconed me at night from
the unknown darkness
The hands that peeled ukwa all day long.
Hands of hardwork, of character, of motherhood
Hands that held the secret of the world with in each
line of her palms.
These hands nurtured my mother
How I long for grandmother's hands around me yet again.
To feel safe, to feel welcome, to feel what it means
to return home
Oh to be drawn into these hands
To be held in the arms of an aged wonder.

Dear Nobody: excerpt from "the little voice in my head"

You amuse me plain and simple. You are my current source of entertainment, only you dont know this yet. Should I feel guilty? By all means yes. Do I feel guilty? By all means no. My guess is that you under estimated me. By doing so I can only conclude that you've bitten off more than you can chew. I guess it's because we laugh and joke together that you felt you could cross the line. You see it's this mind game I often play with everyone I meet. I feign complete naivety, because I know someone will eventually believe me to be so. I allow you to get comfortable. As you drop hints, I pick up on them. Overtime you become an open book...unknowingly...by this time I have no choice but to read. Some call it a defense mechanism, I call it being aware of one's surroundings.
So please don't get mad. I merely played my part, and you set things in motion for me. How does it feel being on the other side looking in? By crossing that line, you've isolated the people that were in your corner, the people that were willing to protect you. Does it irk you, knowing that this situation was orchestrated around lies? Dear nobody...I wont tell if you wont tell. I can fix this. All you have to do is swallow your pride and ask.

can i get some free time please???

So I haven't really been keeping up with this as much as I should. I mean what normal college girl has free time on their hands anymore. The little free time I do get, I spend it by having an affair with dear old facebook, or if I'm lucky I might get a late night rendevous with AIM. School is in session and books are calling. So that reminds me. I decided to take afro-carribean dance and art this semester. Art is like 4 hrs. long!! like OMG! are you kidding me?? wednesday was my first art class. Ryan ( the professor) is not so bad....considering the fact that he has a facebook. So yea I did some snooping, and checked out his page before adding him heehee. In class there are approx. 3 and a half black kids. It's an approximation because I can't tell if the kid with the curly hair is hispanic or black. And s all the chairs form a rectangle around the room. All the way across the room from me sits J**. J** with the sweet cherubic face, looking like an innocent being who has yet to be tainted by the world. I snuck litle peeks @ him and I saw him slighty look up. When it was time to go, I saw him coming towards my direction. I panicked when he got about 2 feet of me. For some reason I turned around quickly and said HI!. He simply nodded and smiled, while I mentally kicked myself for my foolish action. Ican only say that art sure will be interesting for the next 14 weeks or so....sigh**